Why the Bears Will Win the Superbowl – A Nerd’s Perspective

College Football Game Ok, I must admit I’m not a big follower of sports.  So why should I even post anything about the Superbowl?  Why?  Because I think I have the most unbiased analysis of the Superbowl and you people placing bets on the outcome should listen to me

Here is how this whole thing started.  Just the other day my friend Garick was telling me that he had already purchased tons of beer, food, chips and all kinds of stuff for his big party this weekend.  Being the super inquisitive geek that I am, I figured I’d ask what the special occasion was.  Garick look at me with eyes bugged and asked “Are you serious?!”  I then giggled and replied, “He he…I’m just teasin you! hehe.  Can I come to your party?”  With a look of relief Garick said that I could join in the fun of his annual Superbowl Party. 

The truth is I had no stinking clue that there was even a Superbowl coming up, nor did I even know who was playing.

After doing a little research and fielding questions by other sport people in the office of “Bears or Colts?! Tell me Tony!”  I soon realized that there were two teams involved in this football game played in a bowl of sorts…the Colts and the Bears, or as many people seem to find funny: ‘Da Bears.”

fine game of table football After getting the necessary research to make a prediction of the outcome, I’ve decided to put my dollar down on the Chicago Bears.  Now when folks walk by and ask me the question of Colts or Bears again, I will say with confidence (while acting like I give a crap): “The Chicago Bears of course!  28 to 3!”

How and why did I pick the Chicago Bears to win the Superbowl?  How did I come up with such a score?  I’ll let you in on a little secret.  My interest in programming computers started back in 1979.  Since then my mind has evolved into a mathematical and statistical super computer. 

With no bias involved and with incredible deductive reasoning and a love of reading almanacs, I am more than qualified and completely confident in my decisions, outcomes and predictions.  So this is how I came up with the prediction:

  • The Winter weather will put a damper on the Texas Colts ability to handle the football.
  • The Bears quarterback, Vince McMahon is a wrestling expert who can easily overpower the Colts defensive line.
  • Tony Dungy is a funny name.
  • The Colts uniforms look dumb. They slapped the Omega symbol on their helmets upside down.
  • The Bears have scored more home runs than the Colts all year
  • The Colts are only there to start some trouble, whereas the Bears are only here to do the Superbowl Shuffle. 

So there you have it, my rough overview of why the Chicago Bears will beat the Colts in the Superbowl in extra innings..28 to 3 in favor of ‘Da Bears

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3 thoughts on “Why the Bears Will Win the Superbowl – A Nerd’s Perspective”

  1. An excellent and insightful analysis. I didn’t even know Vince was a quarterback. While agreeing with your result, I came up with a different score.

    Bears 41
    Colts 13

    But to be fair, this is not really a predicition, since earlier in the week I was visited by the Ghosts of the Chicago Bears Past, Present, and Future in a dream. I snuck a peak at the final scoreboard while the Spirit of the Chicago Bears Future was dragging me around Miami. That was a mistake – no real suspense in watching the game for me now.

    Anyway, the whole Dickensian tale is linked below, but will probably only be understood and appreciated by Bears fans:

    “Da Bears Song in Prose – Being a Ghost Story of the Superbowl”

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